


The heart of Camelot

by MaryBarrens



Series: Merlin Translations [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Camelot, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, M/M, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, Prophecy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 03:33:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6140269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryBarrens/pseuds/MaryBarrens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It feels like a soft caress and Merlin stops dead in his track and looks around. The corridor in the royal wing of the castle is low lighted and the only steps he can hear are his own. There is no one in that corridor, apart from Merlin. </p><p> „Arthur?“ he whispers and looks around again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The heart of Camelot

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [The heart of Camelot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5509619) by [MaryBarrens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryBarrens/pseuds/MaryBarrens). 



Merlin is sitting on top of the highest castle tower, looking at the kingdom he helped to built and knowing it will never be the same again, not without its king (and maybe that´s not true, maybe it´s just him who can never be the same again, not without Arthur), when he touches his hand to the stone next to him and finds out that it´s warm like a human body. 

Just for a moment, and then the wall is cold again, as it was before, but it lasts almost long enough for him to be sure he wasn´t just imagining it. 

***

Gwen looks regal, sitting on the throne and silently watching him, her hair combed up into a beautifully intricate knot, her lips pressed together. Her face is expressionless, because it has to be, but her eyes show everything. 

Merlin lowers his head, because he can´t look at her. 

„Mylady,“ he says, his voice weak. He can barely breathe, his throat tight. He is painfully aware of everyone in the hall watching him, silently asking him questions, because he was supposed to bring Arthur back with him, alive and well after the battle they´ve won, but he came alone instead, pale and worn out, his eyes red-rimmed. 

Everyone – Leon and Gaius and everybody else here, definitely Percival, who´s found him at the shore of Avalon, staring off into the distance, at the small island in the middle of the lake, and took him back to Camelot, on a horse with a saddle that looked like Gwaine´s – knows what he´s not telling them, because he just can´t say the words. Everyone knows it, but it´s just so unbelievable that they can´t even think it for themselves, much less put it into words, say it aloud. 

Because Arthur can´t be – Arthur _can´t_ –

Merlin´s legs start to tremble and he falls down on his knees onto the hard wooden floor, right in front of the queen´s throne, his head hanging down. Somewhere from behind him he hears a quiet, rustling sound of fabric, someone moving. It´s probably one of the knights, who wants to help him stand up, but no one comes to him, no one touches him and Merlin slowly lifts his head up. 

Gwen leans forward a little, as if to help him herself. Her shoulders are perfectly straight. „Merlin,“ she murmurs and shakes her head. She folds her hands together in her lap and just watches him. 

„I am sorry,“ he says weakly, his voice hoarse. 

Gwen inhales sharply, when he confirms all her fears. There is a quiet murmuring behind him, but Merlin barely notices it, watching his queen. 

„I am sorry, Gwen.“ Merlin gulps. „Mylady. I am sorry, I couldn ´t save him.“ 

***

On the next day Leon stands next to the throne and while Gwen´s holding Arthur´s ring, his – hers, now – royal seal, her fingers trembling, he announces with steady voice in front of all the people who gathered in the throne room that the king is dead. 

***

„Merlin.“ 

Hesitatingly, Merlin lifts his head up from the book he´s reading, and looks at Gaius. 

„Hm?“ he murmurs, frowning, his fingers fidgeting with the yellowish page of the book, his thumb going around and around in the small circle over the smooth surface. 

Gaius´s watching him intently. He looks as if he´s not sure if he should smile at Merlin or not. In the end he settles with nodding his head and sitting at the table across from Merlin. „I´ve heard the queen´s planning on lifting the ban on magic,“ he says and it sounds a little like a question. 

Merlin nods. „Yes, she talked to me about it. She wanted to hear my opinion about lifting the ban.“ He pauses for a moment. „We both know it won´t be easy, because magic was banned for a long time, and there is still a lot of people who think that Uther was right. They will protest. But a there´s plenty of those who know that there are good sorcerers too. And everybody knows there´s been a sorcerer at Camlann, fighting for Camelot. They can´t say that all those who have magic just want to hurt people.“ 

„They say she wants to offer you the title of the court sorcerer, when the ban is lifted.“ 

Merlin lowers his eyes. „She already did.“ 

Gaius tilts his head to the side thoughtfully and looks at Merlin questioningly. „Will you take on the offer?“ 

Merlin shrugs his shoulders and smiles shakily. „Gwen said they´ve been talking about lifting the ban with Arthur…“ he hesitates and blinks surprisedly, when he realizes he said Arthur´s name, aloud, for the first time since he´s shouted it, not far away from Avalon. „They´ve been talking about it, some time ago.“ Merlin shakes his head and tries to calm down. „I didn´t know, because he´s never talked to me about it, but… Arthur never really believed that magic was evil. Even after everything his father had taught him, Arthur always thought that magic´s just a tool you can use to do good or bad, just like a sword.“ 

Gaius nods understandingly, not saying a word. 

„I thought,“ Merlin speaks up again, almost a whisper, „that maybe I can protect Gwen at least, when I couldn´t save Arthur.“ 

***

Merlin opens his eyes into the darkness and looks around the small chamber confusedly, to find out what woke him up. 

Everything´s quiet and it´s a pitch-black darkness behind the window, it´s still a few hours until the dawn. It seems like everything´s calm and Merlin knows that probably everyone, apart from a few guards on duty, is in bed, asleep at this hour. 

Merlin frowns. He doesn´t hear anything, no wild weather behind his window, nothing to wake him up from sleep. Even Gaius is silent in the next chamber, probably in deep slumber. No, Merlin shouldn´t be awake, he shouldn´t be looking around, trying to find –

„Merlin,“ he hears a weak call, from just behind the door, from Gaius physician´s chamber, because while Gwen has offered him (more than once, actually) better, more spacious chambers, _private_ chambers, he refused to move away, for the need to stay somewhere he feels at home. Merlin flinches and sits up quickly. His blanket slides down to his waist, but he pays it no attention, listening attentively, because he´s not sure if he hasn´t just imagined it, if he´s really heard his name. 

For a few moments there´s nothing. 

„Merlin,“ he hears again and the voice is so quiet that it may not be real at all, but it´s familiar, painfully familiar, and that´s just not possible, because Arthur is dead, he died months ago, and there´s no chance for him to be back. Merlin knows for sure, because he´s been looking into it, talking with everyone who could´ve helped him. He´s spent weeks engrossed in books and he´s found nothing. It´s not possible for him to hear Arthur´s voice now, in the middle of the night. 

Merlin starts to shake and he lays down again, on his side, his knees just under his chin. He puts his arms tightly around himself and shuts his eyes so he doesn´t have to see the empty darkness around. 

Everything stays silent. 

***

„I feel the closest to him here.“ 

Merlin looks away from the window overlooking the whole courtyard and turns around after the voice. 

Gwen, dressed up in a beautiful, dark red gown, is standing just a few steps away from him. Her back is straight and she holds her head high, even though she looks sad. „I´ve always liked his chambers,“ she admits quietly and looks around the chambers that had belonged to Arthur even before he´s been crowned king, too young for so much responsibility, and that she´s shared with him for years, before she moved away, to the private chambers meant for a widowed queen, after his death. She looks as if she belongs here, in this deserted rooms full of camelot red, the queen in the royal chambers, and Merlin once again becomes aware of how inappropriate his presence here really is. 

„I remember him sitting there,“ Gwen gestures her hand to the wide windowsill Merlin´s staying at. She smiles softly. „He´s always liked to sit there, he could see everything from that place.“ 

Merlin can´t resist giving her a faint smile and a stupid comment. „He liked to sulk there when he was still a prince and his father´s forbidden him to do something.“ 

Gwen laughs chokedly and her voice is wet with tears she can´t let out until she´s alone in her chambers, because she can´t show any weakness in public. Even if it would be just in front of her court sorcerer, her old friend, whom for the whole years no one has ever took seriously. She just can´t look weak, for any reason. 

Merlin throat tightens. „I´m sorry,“ he says softly. „I shouldn´t be here.“ 

„Nonsense.“ Gwen rolls her eyes and for a moment she doesn´t look like a queen, just like the ordinary, old Gwen. „You´ve spent hours in here, with him. You´ve probably got even more right to be here than I´ve ever have.“ 

But how could he? He´s been just Arthur´s servant, his court jester, someone Arthur could´ve made fun of, without anyone holding it against him or looking at him poorly. Merlin hasn´t even dared to tell him about his magic until it was too late, he´s never told him –

„You were never just his servant,“ says Gwen firmly, as if reading his mind. Or is he so transparent? Arthur´s always used to say Merlin´s an open book. 

Gwen doesn´t say more for a moment and then she comes to him and stand just next to him, so close that their shoulders are touching lightly, and they look out of the window together. When she speaks up again, her voice is softer, almost soothing. „You were his friend, maybe the only friend he´s ever had. You were his best friend and you were his advisor and his protector.“ 

Merlin wants to say something, because how could he ever declare himself to be Arthur´s protector, when he hasn´t been able to protect him? When he´s came too late for the last, most important battle, and even though he´s helped them to win, he couldn´t help his king? When he´s had to watch him – his king, his destiny, the other side of his coin, according to some – die, and he couldn´t do anything about it? 

„You´ve always done everything you could,“ Gwen says and she sounds calm. „I know how much you´ve done for him. How much you´ve sacrificed.“ 

Merlin averts his eyes, because no, Gwen doesn´t know everything. There are things, he´s never been able to tell to Arthur, not even when he was dying, things that even Gaius doesn´t know about. 

„I know you loved him,“ Gwen whispers and he turns to her, his eyes wide. 

But he´s not able to say anything and Gwen´s just watching his face for a moment. „He loved you too, you know,“ she adds after that, probably even more quietly then before, and she touches his shoulder gently. „And I´m really sorry that you two have never gotten a chance. Don´t get me wrong, because I´m happy I could´ve married him and spent those few years with him, but… But I know that the two of you would´ve been happy together if you´ve ever gotten the chance.“ 

Merlin opens his mouth to say something, to apologize, possibly, but he doesn´t get the chance. 

„Just tell me –“ Gwen hesitates for a moment and then she inhales deeply. „Did he die… Did he die peacefully? Didn´t he suffer?“ 

Merlin shakes his head. „No, he didn´t suffer. He was brave until the end, at peace with dying.“ He doesn´t say that Arthur´s last words were _I don´t want you to change_ and _hold me_ and _thank you_. He doesn´t tell her that Arthur was much more at peace with dying than Merlin was with watching him die, or that he was holding him in his arms, not far from Avalon, looking into his face, unable to turn his eyes away. But Gwen looks like she knows and when she squeezes his shoulder and thanks him for everything he´s ever done for Arthur – for both of them – there is a smile in her face and it´s the first smile to reach all the way to her eyes after a long time. 

***

Kilgarrah´s head is tilted to the side, when he´s looking at him, much more interested than Merlin would ever expect. His eyes are focused and he´s leaning down slightly, to be a little closer to Merlin. 

„I´m thinking about leaving Camelot,“ Merlin admits quietly and he feels ashamed for his weakness. He has a job there, in the castle – in the kingdom – he still has a work to do and he´s not sure if he´s strong enough to do it. To stay in the castle that used to be Arthur´s home. 

For some reason it´s the only place, he still feels at home, even if it hurts so much. Even if it´s not the same anymore. 

Kilgarrah blinks. „You want to leave Camelot, young warlock?“ he asks. 

Merlin looks away. „There´s no place for me anymore.“ 

„Merlin,“ the great dragon´s watching him and he looks kind, if that´s even possible. „Your work in Camelot still hasn´t came to an end. You´ve done a lot for Albion, but you still haven´t fulfilled your destiny.“ He pauses. „There is still something waiting for you.“ 

„I still haven´t fulfilled my destiny?“ Merlin asks incredulously and stares at him, his hands fisted. His destiny? Something more besides protecting his king, besides helping him to create Albion and bring magic back to the land? What more could possibly await him? 

„My destiny still hasn´t ended? He is dead!“ he raises his voice at the last sentence until he´s almost screaming, but the dragon doesn´t seem affected by it. He´s still calm, as if everything´s alright. 

Just one dead king. One lonely, grieving queen. 

One broken warlock. 

Merlin´s so tired all of the sudden, just as he was at the shore of Avalon, when he was looking after the boat, in tears. 

„Magic is back in Albion and Arthur´s dead. What else could await me there?“ 

Kilgarrah speaks again. „And what is dying? The end? Or just a start of something new?“ 

Merlin looks at him, puzzled. 

„Merlin,“ the dragon continues and he sounds almost gently. „This world is full of magic,“ he says. „The most curious things happen in this world. There are people who never live and some who never die. Sometimes, it´s the same.“ 

Merlin shrugs his shoulders, because he´s not in the mood for another riddle. „He _shouldn´t_ have died. He was so _young_.“

Kilgarrah shakes his head. His stare is intense. „No one dies too young, Merlin. Because no one lives longer than they were supposed to.“ 

Merlin snorts. „You don´t understand. Arthur was never just a king to me.“ 

„My warlock.“ The dragon leans down to him even more and does something vaguely resembling a smile. „Arthur was never just a king.“ 

***

It feels like a soft caress and Merlin stops dead in his track and looks around. 

The corridor in the royal wing of the castle is low lighted, lit only by a few torches attached to the stone walls, the only steps he can hear are his own, because everyone else who could be in that part of the castle is on the banquet in the great hall. There is no one in that corridor, apart from Merlin, but he´s sure he´s felt it, like fingertips touching the side of his face, just moments ago, he´s _felt_ it, hasn´t just imagined it, has he? 

„Arthur?“ he whispers and looks around again. His fingers are trembling. Could it really be – _could_ it –

There is a slight breeze through the corridor even if the windows are closed, and it ruffles the hair on top of Merlin´s head, but before he can turn around or blink even, the door on the other end of the corridor, where Arthur´s chambers are, locked up and not used at all, closes loudly. 

„Arthur!“ Merlin cries without thinking and he runs to the noise even if he feels a little crazy. Arthur´s at Avalon. He´s gone. He can´t be here and _yet_ …

Merlin flings the door open, the same door that he´d spent ten years behind, and searches through the royal chambers, because _what if_.

Arthur´s chambers are empty. 

***

Merlin is in the throne room with a few knights, when a man in a long robe that looks a little too similarly to Merlin´s own new clothes (and it occures to Merlin if all the kingdoms have some sort of arrangement about magic users wearing long robes), storms in and tries to kill the queen. 

It´s not because of Uther´s ban on magic or even her lifting the ban again, but because of some old, personal and long forgotten dispute between this man and Uther that Gwen has nothing to do with of course, and it´s not even a real attack, more like a very poor attempt, because Merlin and the knights are at the ready the moment he walks in through the door. 

Just a few words before he´s certain of the man´s intentions and then Merlin gestures his hand, not even using any spells anymore, because his magic is too instinctive, too powerful to be tied up in words, and the man´s enchantment is cut off in half, the man himself forced to kneel, divested of his power. 

The knights look at Merlin for a second and then arrest the man and take him to the dungeon, before some people in the hall even understand what happened. 

Merlin leaves the hall without a word. 

***

„There´s something you´re not telling me, isn´t there?“ Merlin asks the great dragon and tries to sound calm, but it´s surprisingly hard to keep his voice steady, when he´s confused and scared. 

Because something´s not right. Arthur is dead after all, Merlin´s held him in his arms and tried to keep back his tears, when he was dying, and then he´s prepared the funeral boat and sent him to Avalon. He´s lied him down to sleep and he´s returned his sword to Freya, he´s been mourning him ever since. 

Maybe it´s Merlin who´s not alright. Maybe something happened to him, when Arthur died, maybe he´s just refused to give him up. 

Kilgarrah seems surprised. „What do you mean, young warlock?“ 

„You told me something still awaits me in Camelot,“ Merlin reminds him. He fists his hands to hide that they´re trembling. „You told me that –“ Merlin pauses in the middle of the sentence and sighs tiredly. „I hear him, in the castle,“ he admits quietly. 

„You hear him?“ the dragon repeats after him. 

Merlin nods slowly. „I hear Arthur in empty corridors. Or in the chambers where there´s no one. His voice wakes me up.“ He gulps. 

Kilgarrah stares at him thoughtfully. He doesn´t seem to be surprised. 

„You knew it.“ Merlin takes a step towards the dragon, his mouth open. His heart is pounding and he´s not sure if he should hit the dragon, as pointless as it would be, or if he should just set fire to something. „You _knew_ it would happen. You knew that I would –“ He can´t say anything more. 

„Merlin,“ the dragon approaches him kindly and Merlin looks up at him without thinking. „Do you finally understand? Do you know now who Arthur was?“ 

Merlin shakes his head confusedly and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. „He was the greatest king Camelot had or will ever have. The once and future king. The one that will come back when Albion needs him the most.“ 

„The other side of your coin,“ Kilgarrah agrees. „Your other half. Do you know what that means?“ 

Merlin doesn´t say a word. 

The dragon leans down to him. „Arthur was born of magic. And just as you were created for him, he was created for you.“ 

„What does it mean?“ 

Kilgarrah stares at him and his face looks the same like when he´s about to give him some new insoluble riddle. „One born of magic, the other magic itself. You were born with a destiny, Merlin. You were born to protect Camelot.“ 

Merlin shakes his head disapprovingly. „I was born to protect _Arthur_.“

Kilgarrah remains silent. 

***

Someone is touching his hair. 

Merlin´s waking up slowly and for a moment the soft caress, the gentle fingers touching his hair and forehead is everything he can feel. Then there´s the slightly dipped mattress, because someone is sitting just next to him and leaning down over him, and the quiet, whispered words, _I am proud of you, Merlin, so proud of you, my Merlin…_ in a painfully familiar voice. Soft touch to his temple. 

„Arthur?“ Merlin murmurs and opens his eyes slowly. 

Everything is drowned in the darkness and silence, it´s probably about midnight. He can´t see anyone, not even a trace of someone else being here. 

Merlin sits up and looks around again and then he gets up from the bed – wider and much more comfortable than the old one – and leaves his chamber, but the infirmary is silent too. Everything he can hear is Gaius´ breathing. 

Merlin frowns and returns to his chamber. The blanket on his bed, on the side he never uses, is wrinkled and drawn aside and the mattress is warm under his palm as if someone´s been sitting there just a few moments before. 

***

„Were you in my chamber last night?“ 

Gaius stops in his track and turns around to look at him, confused and worried. His forehead is heavily wrinkled, his fingers clenched around a small bowl. „No, I wasn´t. Why do you ask?“ 

Merlin shakes his head, because if it wasn´t Gaius, it must have been someone else, someone –

He shivers. 

Gaius comes up to him slowly, puts the bowl on the table and sits down, without taking his eyes away from Merlin. „Merlin?“ 

Merlin stares at the wooden table intently. „Someone was there. I´m sure of it. Someone was sitting on my bed, watching me sleep. I think that –“ He gulps and inhales shakily, because it´s gonna sound crazy, even to _him_ it sounds crazy, because this should not be possible. 

„Merlin? What do you think?“ 

Merlin looks up at him and his vision´s blurred. „I think it was Arthur,“ he whispers. 

Gaius blinks. „Arthur?“ 

„I´ve heard his voice,“ Merlin admit, one hand clenched tight in the soft fabric of his robe. 

„You´ve heard –“

Merlin nods quickly and leans forward. He looks around without thinking as if checking for someone listening to them, but apart from them the room is empty, no patients or wounded in need of a physician´s care. Still Merlin drops his voice down. „In the castle. I´ve heard his voice. I´ve _heard_ him. It´s almost like he´s still here.“ 

Gaius frowns, but he doesn´t say anything. 

„You don´t feel it?“ 

Gaius shakes his head. 

„Do you think it´s because of all the power I have?“ Merlin asks. „That… my magic decided to… keep him alive for me somehow?“ 

„I don´t know, Merlin,“ Gaius says, lost in thought, like when struggling with some medical problem. „I really don´t know.“ 

***

Leon stops him not far away from the training ground, just a few minutes after the drills. The other knights are already leaving for the castle, probably to freshen up or for a short rest before the start of their shift, because Leon certainly doesn´t go easy on them. 

„Do you need anything?“ Merlin asks. He lets himself be led to the bench and when he sits down, his official, dark blue robe tightenes around his knees. He looks questioningly at Leon. 

„No, I don´t,“ Leon answer and sits down next to him. „I just wanted to ask you if you were alright.“ He sounds worried, because Leon is a caring man, always helpful and understanding, one of the first people to accept Merlin as a warlock. 

Merlin shakes his head. 

Leon smiles sadly. „I know it´s been a few months and that I should have ask you earlier, but…“ he shrugs. „I know it wasn´t easy for you. Quite the contrary. And I wanted to thank you, for all of us.“ 

Merlin gulps and blinks back the tears. 

Leon lays his palm on Merlin´s shoulder. „We all miss Arthur,“ he says quietly. „It wasn´t your fault, you know. We all know it wasn´t. We know how much you´ve loved Arthur, how loyal you´ve been.“ Leon watches him, his eyes sad, but the little smile in his face is honest. „I know you would never hurt him and that you´ve done everything you could to save him. No one could ask anything more of you.“ 

Leon doesn´t say anything else for some time and he doesn´t wait for any kind of answer from Merlin (Merlin doesn´t know what to tell him anyway. That it doesn´t matter what the others think, when _Merlin_ blames himself? That he´s failed his destiny, when he couldn´t save Arthur? That he doesn´t even know what to do with himself most of the days, because all of his life´s been centered around Arthur? That he may be losing his mind slowly, hearing Arthur´s voice in the castle, calling out for Merlin, just a few days ago?). He just nods in the end, almost as if bowing to him, and then he stands up and leaves. 

Merlin looks after Leon until the knight disappears behind a corner and he´d swear he saw a glimpse of red tunic and gulden hair at the gateway. 

***

„Merlin, come here.“ 

Merlin frowns, hearing the scary seriousness in Gaius´ voice, but he doesn´t comment on it and goes after him to the infirmary. 

Gaius is slightly frowning, but he doesn´t look angry. He´s thoughtful, worried. „Sit down.“ 

Merlin sits down at the table without a word and looks down at the thick book of magic, already opened somewhere in the middle, a book they don´t have to hide anymore. „What´s going on?“ he asks, but Gaius doesn´t answer until he´s sitting. 

„Merlin,“ Gaius starts softly and the worried expression´s still not clearing off of his face. „I think I´ve found something.“ 

Merlin just looks at him. 

Gaius sighs. „After you told me that Arthur was still here, in the castle… I´ve remembered something. It´s an old prophecy. It may be older than the one about the Once and future king and it is older than the prophecy about _Emrys_.“ He pauses. „Have you ever heard about the Heart of a kingdom?“ 

Merlin frowns, trying to remember. „No,“ he says after a moment. He doesn´t remember ever hearing about anything like that. 

„Alright.“ Gaius slightly hesitates and then he pushes the book over the table to Merlin and shows him where to start reading. 

Merlin leans on his elbows and bends down over the book. 

_The dragon king will lose his mind because of love and he will sire a child with a priestess. The Heart of a kingdom will be born and his protector. One born of magic, the other magic itself, and together they will be good and just and together they will give birth to a great empire._

_And after his death, the Heart will return to his stone body and his spirit will remain in its home and his voice will sound for his other half._

Merlin stops reading. He gulps, staring at the yellowed page. „You think that Arthur –“

„Yes,“ Gaius nods. „Yes, I do.“ 

***

Kilgarrah doesn´t say a word, just watching him, silent and frighteningly huge in the small clearing not far from the castle. He hasn´t spoken up since the moment Merlin had called him here, and if Merlin is to guess, he won´t say anything until Merlin starts talking. He just waits patiently. 

„Gaius gave me something to read last night… some old prophecy,“ Merlin says, looking intently at the dragon. „About the Heart of a kingdom.“ 

Kilgarrah stays quiet, which is answer enough. 

Merlin nods. „Were you going to tell me?“ 

„Tell you what?“ The dragon tilts his head to the side and waits, not willing to start about it until Merlin himself says it aloud, but not trying to use one of his riddles for once. 

„You said it yourself.“ Merlin pauses. „Arthur was never just a king.“ 

Kilgarrah nods. 

Merlin looks at him accusingly. „Why didn´t you tell me?“ 

„Some things you can´t just _say_ , young warlock. Some thing you have to find out for yourself.“ 

„That´s why I feel like he´s still there,“ Merlin says, his voice trembling. „Because Arthur was born of magic, for Camelot. To protect her and be anything his kingdom needed him to be. He was never just a king, not really.“ Merlin takes a breath. „Arthur was _Camelot_.“ He looks up at the dragon and almost hopes Kilgarrah proves him wrong. 

„Camelot is Arthur.“ 

The dragon says nothing. 

***

Merlin is sitting on the wide windowsill, looking out quietly at the courtyard full of people. His hands are clasped in his lap and his breathing is calm and stable, because this is the room where he´s spent the whole years and because it´s just like Gwen said. _I feel the closest to him here._

„You´re still here, aren´t you?“ Merlin murmurs softly and pauses, waiting for an answer. „You´ve never really left.“ 

The room stays quiet, but Merlin still smiles faintly, calm. 

„You wouldn´t leave you kingdom,“ he adds. His hand slides over the stone wall, just next to the window, unintentionally and without thinking, and he nods slightly. 

The stone under his palm stays warm. 


End file.
